So the move looks like it’s probably going to be happening.  On the one hand I’m excited about living in a different place.  On the other hand I’m terrified of leaving all that I know and love here.  I really like Georgia.  I like it a lot, and I’ve been here my entire life.  My family (the part I care about) is here and my friends, some I’ve known for decades.

The likely potential move has put me in a weird mental place.  It’s this Never-Never Land of feelings of inadequacy, insecurity and helpless sadness.  It’s like being a fucking teenager again.  It sucks assholes.  A whole hat full.

I can’t decide if I want to go or if I want to stay.  I’m of the mind that the Universe will deliver what we need when we need it.  All along I’ve had the attitude that if we’re meant to move the money will appear for us to do it.  Saturday I had a check for a little over 2k in my mailbox.  A stipend from school, I’ve apparently been carrying quite a large credit balance with them for some time.

I’m not one to ignore obvious signs of what will be.

Of course if we don’t end up moving I’ll be going shopping.  Hard core.  Or maybe that’s just my self-indulgent, petulant, immature side coming out to say, “Howdy, fuckers!”

Meh, I don’t know what I want.  I know I want this maelstrom of teen-ish angst to go the fuck on already.

Deep down I know moving will be a really good thing for us both.  That doesn’t mean I have to like it.