Fucking shit, I’ve been a lethargic gasbag lately. Seriously, I’ve been lazy and farty. I blame the beans. We eat a lot of beans. The lethargy can be attributed to the fact that I fucking hate winter.

I’ve dyed yarn, started socks for Paula (named Nipple Ripple), got a kick ass package from my Knitty SP, learned how to knit 2 socks at once, got even more yarn in the mail that I haven’t even added to my Ravelry stash yet, freed a trapped Cardinal, lost a pet and decided to shave another one. I’ve also been drawing my ass off for class, but I’m having a great time.

I could have pics to show you all of this (except the dead mangled body of Gus), but that whole laziness thing is winning this particular race.

What happened to Gus? Well, Bob got territorial for some reason. In the year or so that we’ve had them living in the same tank I’ve never seen Bob so much as look at Gus sideways. Hell, he could be seen regularly scraping her shell. But she freaked and killed him. I know he was just a fish, but I was pretty upset. He was neat and a living, feeling creature and entrusted to my care and I felt and feel like I failed him. Turns out Bob was broody, she laid an egg a couple of days later. Poor Gus. Sorry, little guy.

I just finished reading the Fair Tax book. Holy shit. The history of the income tax is infuriating. The fact that we’re paying taxes on ourselves *twice* to pay for a loan we’ve taken out against ourselves is astounding. The economy is going to collapse if we don’t make some serious changes. Support H.R. 25! It’s important, people!

Squirrels!

SQUIRREL MELTS. It’s exactly what you think it is.

Every teacher should do this!

Shut the hell up!

Apple Art - Cool

Oh my god. I started this damn entry MONDAY. School is kicking my ass.

So I’m in a public service building the other day doing what most people end up doing up there, waiting. I’m knitting away on a sweater for Isobel when this woman comes up the stairs to drop off her 7-ish kid for some class he was there for. His name was Brandon. Know how I knew? Because I heard it 14 gazillion times in the space of half an hour. Brandon was a fucking brat and the problem was clearly his mother.

“Brandon, get away from the stairs. Brandon, don’t you go down those stairs, please Brandon, just come here, I have to go get your sister!”

Her pleading quickly turned into whining, “Braaan-doooooonnnnnn, puuuuh-leeeeeeeeeze don’t pull me dowwwwwwn the stairs, you’re gonna make me faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall.”

After about 5 minutes of this one of the teachers comes out and managed to convince Brandon to come into the class room. Brandon’s mom slinks down the stairs gratefully.

4 minutes later I see a streak of yellow (his Spongebob shirt) as he flies out of the class room, teacher hot on his heels. “Brandon, where are you going? Come back here!”

A staff member looks up from the paper in her arms and says gleefully, “We got a runner!” It was all I could do to not lose my shit right there.

Brandon yells, “I’m gonna get my mom!”

“Brandon, your mom is gone already, she’s not here.”

As he races down the stairs he yells, “I don’t care!”

Ballsy teacher, that man, he just stood there and waited. Sure enough a few minutes later Brandon comes plodding up the stairs. He looks at the teacher balefully and says, “If my mom was here I’d be going home right now!”

Similar scenes were repeated over the next 20 minutes. A teacher would get Brandon back in the room only to have him come shooting out a few minutes later.

Goddamn, I’m glad I’m not breeding.

I tried to snap a picture with my phone of the little cretin, but I couldn’t, the architecture of the building made it one big echo chamber and it would’ve been too conspicuous.

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I have knitting news, like actual, honest to god, holy fucking shitballs, I’m working on projects that I might actually finish! See? Here’s a sweater I’m almost done with for Isobel. Believe it or not I got the yarn at Big Lots and it’s the softest, cushiest yarn I’ve ever felt. It feels like velvet made out of chinchillas, it’s amazing! It knits up super quick too. This is the back, I’m working on the chest piece now, then I’ll crochet some sleeves on.

Spanky’s helping.

Here’s the toe of one Back to Basics sock. Easiest pattern ever. I love a good, simple sock pattern. It’s knit in KnitPicks Simply Stripes. I think these are going to be for me, but they may turn into holiday gifts, we’ll see.

Next I want to try these socks. They look awesome, but knitting a sock in nothing but short rows sounds daunting or tedious, or a little of both.

I placed myself on a new yarn moratorium until I can use up more of what I have in my stash, but I fell in love with these sock yarns when I went to my LYS with my sister this weekend.

This is the first time I’ve ever come across a Wildefoote yarn I like. I usually don’t care for the colorways or the yarns themselves, but this is not only soft, cushy and wonderful, but the colorway is gorgeous. I can’t wait to see how it knits up. The Soxx Appeal was mine the second my fingers touched it. It’s soft, silky, springy, cushy and wonderful. The colorway isn’t bad, but if they’d had others I probably would’ve gotten them. The way this stuff feels, though. Holy knitting gods, it’s amazing. It’ll make incredible socks.

I really love the new bags at my LYS. They’re so cute!

I’m stirrin’ up shit on the internets again. I think it’s a valid question, however. I also have yet to receive a valid answer, but that’s about what I expected.

Heh. I’m glad I’m not this stressed out.

For Paula.  Hahahahahaha!

Lately I’ve been playing a lot of Puzzle Quest being on vacation and all. The game looks kind of stupid, but it’s highly addictive and a lot of fun. Between that and
Lost in Blue 2 I’ve been having a great time sitting on my ass.

Any Kids in the Hall fans out there? Mark McKinney’s character, The Chicken Lady, is my favorite character on that show. There’s one skit he does as her that cracks me up. The Chicken Lady (perpetually sexually frustrated) is on a coin operated horse, the sort kids beg to ride on. A mother (Dave Foley in drag) and her kid come up. The mother asks TCL if she’s going to be long and she says, “Yah, I’m the Chicken Lady, I’m masturbating!” and explodes in a mass of feathers upon orgasm. Hilarious.

So we feed our dogs and cats a raw diet. Meat and bones, some veggies and fruit for the dogs, but mostly meat and bones. I buy chicken for their meat since it’s illegal to use hormones and antibiotics on them now (if we could just get the beef farmers to get on board) and I buy it from our local Publix. I buy cases at a time, usually two. Because of this I’m known up there as either ‘The Petfood Lady’ or ‘The Chicken Lady’. One of these days I’m tempted, so very tempted, to spout off, “Yah, I’m the Chicken Lady, I’m masturbating!” in that same voice when asked if I’m here for my regular case of (chicken) backs.

But I’m really afraid they wouldn’t get it and I’d no longer be greeted with lit faces and smiles when they see me and will instead be whispered about in none-too-complimentary terms.

I’m sure they already think I’m nuts buying 60.00 worth of chicken parts every couple of weeks for dogs and cats, declaring that I’m masturbating in the middle of the store might be a bit much.

But, godDAMN, it’s tempting.