Moving sucks a big, rotten one.  We hate living this sparse existence.  Convenience foods (can I just say thank fuck for Kashi and Amy’s?) and fast food, sleeping on an air mattress, granted, it’s a really nice, thick one, but it’s still a fucking air mattress, and not knowing how to find the fucking gas station is all grating on my nerves.  Jat tried to calm my ire and frustration by buying me Spore for the DS.  Thank fuck.  I needed a distraction and since my yarn and dyeing equipment hasn’t gotten here yet, I can’t do any work, between that and living in this dark fucking house, a girl could go crazy.

I tried venturing out yesterday and got lost as fuck.  I had Jat’s GPS, but the fucking whore kept trying to send me down this dead end road that, as it got toward the end, became less and less paved and the trailers on the sides of the road got thicker and thicker.  I kept expecting either or both a shotgun barrel to appear out a window or banjo music to start up.  We are in the sticks, y’all.  The nearest gas station is 15 minutes away and with my useless wandering I’m not entirely sure I have enough gas to make it to the gas station.  I kept driving yesterday thinking I’d hit a gas station eventually.  Ha, we’re not in Ga anymore, babe.  The closest thing I found to a gas station was a car dealership, not quite what I was needing.

We have at least one big fat groundhog that lives in our back yard.  I tried to get pictures of him but he took off before I could.  He’s huge, probably bigger than Spanky.  I had no idea they were cat sized gerbils.  I thought they were slightly larger than your common squirrel.  Whatever, that fucker could take me down.

Rhett has been delightedly eating all the fallen apples and pears on the ground in the backyard.  The fact he hasn’t had an assplosion of shit is a testament to his steel lined stomach.  He usually comes in at night with at least one in his mouth so he can munch in leisure.

Here are pics of the house and the yard.  I can’t get this shithole primed fast enough.  The house is great, but the paint makes me fucking hate it.

My office is packed, mostly, I still need my scanner and printer.

The garage is almost done being packed. I have one more table of shit to sort through and pack up.

We have given away probably thousands of dollars worth of shit over the past few days. The only things left are the living room furniture and the dresser in the bedroom. Oh, and 3 bookcases we’re listing on Craig’s List in a few.

Vultures, descending on the carrion of our lives. The yard sale we were going to have was vetoed by us both by noon on Sunday. Fuck that shit. We made a whopping 93 dollars over both days. Most of that on Saturday. So yeah, vultures. It’s amazing how fast the hordes fall upon all our old, shitty crap. Ok, so some of it was pretty nice, we just don’t want to fuck with it. But still, amazing. I’ve found the only way to manage giving free shit away is to be a royal bitch in the post. That way people don’t fuck around with knocking on the door to see what else we might have left that we haven’t put out yet, or emailing to find out what we have, can we take pictures, will we hold something. Fuck no. So I’m a bitch and tell everyone to just show up and get what you want. Don’t knock, don’t email, don’t ask me to hold a damn thing. Just come get it, I’ll delete the post when all the shit is gone. As a matter of fact I ignore emails. I mean, I’ll read ‘em just to laugh at some dumb fuck who’s too lazy and/or stupid to read, but I won’t respond. I don’t give a fuck about you and your 6 starving kids. You shoulda sucked him off instead, honey.

Yes, I really got some piss poor sob story about being a single mom with 6 kids. Like I give a fuck about your illegitimate offspring, you slut.

Moving puts me in a sour frame of mind. My poor husband has been a saint and put up with my bitchiness without complaint. He is understanding as all fuck.

2 days and counting. OMG.

We’re leaving the heavy shit, most of it. I’m keeping my living room tables and my lamps, I love my fucking lamps. But the couch, chairs and ottoman are going. Our mattress set is going. We’re going to get a Select Comfort, I don’t give a fuck if they are 3k, I want one and I’m going to fucking have one. Spoiled much? Blame my husband, he’s the one what gives me just about anything I want. Have I mentioned how amazing he is and how motherfucking hard it is to live apart from him? I miss the hell out of him, I really do. We’re in pretty much constant contact over IM, or were, he starts his new job today, so I probably won’t be hearing from him much except at night. Next week he flies out to San Fran for orientation. He’ll be out there a week. I’ll be here procrastinating any actual work toward the move. I did get all my yarn, fiber and dyeing supplies packed up yesterday though. It wasn’t as bad as I thought, my yarn only filled up two big plastic totes, the fiber I was (barely) able to cram into one large cardboard box. Thank fuck it’s squishable.

I’m also trying to get my office packed up. I’ve moved my laptop down to the living room so I can start packing up the electronics. The only thing I have to leave plugged in is the router and modem so I can have intarwebz and tv and my vast selection of animated shows. I am quite pissed because I’m getting an error when I try to play Mario Kart Wii, it won’t read the disk and it’s irritating the fuck out of me, because that game rocks all sorts of ways. Speaking of rocking games, I’ve been playing The World Ends With You on the DS. Dude. Fucking hell, what a brilliantly developed game this is. The story is awesome, the game play is great, the reward system is fantastic and it’s just very engaging and fun. One day I could be working for Square Enix as an animator. How fucking awesome would that be?

I am hoping like hell we hear back on our offer today. I think they have till Wednesday, I’m not sure, I didn’t sign or read any of the paperwork. We’re going to do a quick claim deed since his credit is a little better than mine. That way we’ll maintain a reasonable interest rate. We’ve got all the paperwork together, or mostly together. I still have to get to the bank today, I have a couple of checks to deposit and I need hard copies of our last two months’ bank statements.

I am determined to be organized in the new house. I bought a couple of books off Amazon. They both came highly recommended and they’re both by Martha Stewart. Fuck it, as long as I get organized, I can put up with her creepy smile and suffocating tone. I also ordered a label maker and I will be buying all sorts of containers and labeling shit and hopefully keeping shit organized. Getting rid of a lot of our stuff is going to help a ton.

It sits on a little over 2 acres.  On one side is corn.  On the other side is mountains.  The yard has apple and cherry trees and is beautifully landscaped with lots of flowering plants and vines.

I’m going to get to have chickens.

There is a hot tub on the back deck.  Did I mention you can’t see any neighbors from the back and only one neighbor’s yard is visible from the front yard?  Privacy, I haz it.

The house was built in 1982, but I didn’t hear the first creak on any of the floors or on the steps going down to the basement.

The woman who painted it was apparently fucking color blind.  That will be the first thing I do.

Riding around looking at houses is more exhausting than I realized.  I’m still brain dead.  I went to the grocery store today to pick up bachelorette food and couldn’t figure out why the damn place was so fucking crowded.  It wasn’t until I was checking out and heard a cashier wish a customer a ‘good weekend’ that I realized it was Saturday.

Jat is in VA now, he starts his new job Monday.  He’ll be working a 4 on/4 off schedule, which will be nice, because that means he’ll be home more.  I stayed up as late as I could stand it last night because I hated the idea of going to bed alone for the first of many nights.

I miss my husband.  Damnit.

I hope they accept our offer.  I really do.

Not long, definitely a beginner.

2. What kinds of yarn do you create (singles/2-ply/3-ply/art yarn)?

All of it.  I’m still playing around, getting  a good feel for what I want to do, but I’m having a blast planning out art yarns.  Beaded, sparkly stuff is fun.

3. What do you spin with (spindle/wheel/both)?

Mostly the wheel.  I do use my spindle to spin samples off the drum carder.

4. What are your favorite fibers to spin with? Anything you don’t like?

Silk top.  I could spin it for days and days.  Any soft wools as well.  I haven’t met a fiber I don’ t like.  I’m not a huge fan of rough wools, but they have their place.

5. Who are your favorite crack dealers fiber sources (etsy or otherwise)?

Sheep Shed Studios is awesome, and I love a bunch of etsy designers, and my own stuff too, of course

6. What kind of fiber do you want to try?

Just anything, cellulose, dog, whatever.

7. Is there any techniques you would like to learn?

Andean plying and coils.

8. Do you dye fiber? If not, would you like to learn?

Yes!  And I love it!

9. Do you have fiber prep tools (and like to use them) or would you prefer ready to spin fiber?

I have them, I don’t mind using them, but I prefer my fiber ready to spin because I’m lazy!

10. What do you do with your handspun? What projects have you completed?

Stick it in a plastic bin.  Sometimes I knit/crochet things.  I’ve have exactly two finished objects out of my handspun.  A chapstick cozy and a hat.

11. Are you in need of any spinning gadgets (WPI Gauge, threading hook, etc)?

I’d love a spinner’s control card and a WPI gauge as I don’t have either.  I wouldn’t mind a pretty diz either.

12. What colors “fall into your shopping basket”? Any colors you just can’t stand?

Jewel tones, especially purple/orange/green/turquoise/magenta, crap, all of them.  I despise pastels with the passion of a thousand dying suns.

13. What is on your wheel/spindle right now?

Some rough mystery wool I dyed as an experiment and I have realized I hate spinning up.  I think it’ll go to the needle felting pile.

14. What other crafts/hobbies do you have?

You don’t want the whole list, trust me, there’s a bunch.  If it can be done chances are I’ve either done it, currently do it, am about to learn it or have considered it at some point.
15. Other than crafts, what are you passionate about?

Animal welfare and treatment, factory farming, abolition of the drug laws.

16. Do you have an online wishlist?

Somewhere on Amazon.  Don’t ask me where.  I don’t know.

17. Is there anything that you collect?

Beavers!  The mammalian sort, please.

18. Any books, yarns, needles or patterns out there you are dying to get your hands on? What magazine subscriptions do you have?

I’d love the new Big Girl Knits, Eclectic Sole or Charlene Schurch’s first Sensational Socks book.  I don’t do magazines, really.  More trash I don’t need.

19. When is your birthday?

Dec 27.

20. What book or movie character do you most resemble in personality?
I’ve been told I look like Janis Joplin, but I don’t see it, whatever.  Other than that I can’t think of one.

21. What is the climate like where you live around this time (need to know for careful shipments of anything meltable)?

Hot, freaking OMGWTFBBQ hot.

22. Tell us one weird fact about yourself!

I once ate a live moth on purpose.

Favorites
favorite painting/picture(link): I’m partial to the Rococo Movement if you can believe it, because I am the least girlie girl you’ll ever meet.

Candy: Chocolate, of course.

Food: Indian

Drink: Iced tea

Movie(s): Gone With the Wind, The Color Purple, Happiness

TV Show(s): Spongebob Squarepants, Family Guy, Home Movies, Sealab 2001, pretty much anything on adult swim, The Simpsons, King of the Hill and Hell’s Kitchen.  We’re also currently watching the UK version of Kitchen Nightmares.  I am an animation major, do not judge my love of cartoons.

Book(s): Gap Creek, Gone With the Wind, Just about anything by Mercedes Lackey, Stephen King or David Sedaris

Guilty Pleasure(s): Schadenfreude

The prospect of moving all our STUFF is overwhelming.  I can see a great deal of culling in our future.  I keep telling Jat he’s going to have to sell/trash/give/blow up that damn Super Breakout arcade cabinet he has.  It works, but only when he turns it on, which has been all of twice in the 5+ years we’ve been together, so yeah, despite what he may believe, that shit’s not coming to Vagina with us.

Me?  Oh, I’ve just got about two metric fucking tons of art/craft supplies.  All of which won’t be coming with us.  Which means I’m going to be having one helluva yard sale.  Paula gets to pick over it first and take what she wants, I’ll sell whatever’s left.

We’re leaving the furniture too.  Not all of it, but the living room set, our dining set (Mom’s taking that back, we got it 3rd or 4th hand) and probably a few other things as well.  I’d like to leave the bedroom furniture too and buy a new mattress because we need one desperately. Jat is set on us moving ourselves.  I think he’s insane and hope he plans on doing the loading/unloading because the most I”m willing to do is pack boxes.  I’m being a bratty little bitch and I know it, but I don’t care.  I don’t particularly WANT to move and it’s got me all tied up in anxious knots.  If I have to think about loading/unloading boxes in the middle of fucking August I want to curl up and stick dust in my eyes until it’s over.

I’m trying to have a positive attitude about all this.  I know in the long run it’s going to be great for us both, me especially since I’ve always lived here (at least as long as I can remember).   He’s really excited about this job.  It’s his dream job with great opportunity for advancement and  he already has a dear, old friend who works in the same capacity as Jat would be, so he has it on very good authority that the company is a great one to work for and expanding rapidly.

Can’t I just overdose on Xanax and have someone wake me up when we’re there?  Please?

I’ll likely be moving all the animals by myself.  All that shit, my kiln, my wheel and my lathe, all things I don’t trust to be under anyone’s control but my own, won’t fit in my Honda, not to mention I’m not convinced the poor old bitch could make it there.  So we’ll be renting the biggest SUV we can that can tow my car and moving animals, the car, and my TLC shit that way.  Fun times.  At least the goddamn thing will have AC.

The likely potential move has put me in a weird mental place.  It’s this Never-Never Land of feelings of inadequacy, insecurity and helpless sadness.  It’s like being a fucking teenager again.  It sucks assholes.  A whole hat full.

I can’t decide if I want to go or if I want to stay.  I’m of the mind that the Universe will deliver what we need when we need it.  All along I’ve had the attitude that if we’re meant to move the money will appear for us to do it.  Saturday I had a check for a little over 2k in my mailbox.  A stipend from school, I’ve apparently been carrying quite a large credit balance with them for some time.

I’m not one to ignore obvious signs of what will be.

Of course if we don’t end up moving I’ll be going shopping.  Hard core.  Or maybe that’s just my self-indulgent, petulant, immature side coming out to say, “Howdy, fuckers!”

Meh, I don’t know what I want.  I know I want this maelstrom of teen-ish angst to go the fuck on already.

Deep down I know moving will be a really good thing for us both.  That doesn’t mean I have to like it.

First, I’ve been spinning and knitting like a bat out of hell lately. I dyed this with Paas egg dye tablets and it’s spinning up really pretty. Pastels, which are so not my thing, but I’ll probably ply and knit socks out of it anyhow.

I’m also working on socks for Mom. It’s her Mother’s Day present. I let her pick the yarn and the pattern and they’re coming along nicely. I have about twice as much done as the photo shows. I need to get a new photo.

The yarn is Plymouth Happy Feet and the pattern is from Charlene Schurch’s More Sensational Socks. The stitch pattern is the Stansfield 14 from that book. I’m knitting them on 2’s.

I’ve also got a surprisingly hopping little business going on Etsy. I started making and selling snag-free stitch markers for knitters, but most specifically for sock knitters. We need us some tiny st markers, so I made a bunch and they’re selling well as is my sock yarn, surprisingly. I’m selling there to earn money for SAFF. I have a room booked through Knitch for the whole weekend. I’m sending in my registration to take Schurch’s Sock Options class. How awesome to meet the woman herself. I will be all fangrrl and ask her to sign my book, yes I will. Kelly is going with me, so that’ll be fun. We’ve asked to room together. Knitch rented out the entire Inn for the weekend, so it’ll be nothing but fiber folks running around high on wool fumes all weekend.

Since SAFF is still months away I’ve taken this month’s profit and sunk it back in for more supplies so I can have more stock and make more money. I plan on having a hellafun time at SAFF and spending recklessly without guilt.

We also had some nature visits lately. First I caught a huge garter snake in the backyard. I took him in so he could stink all over Jat. Then we let him go. We also had a pair of cardinals build a nest right next to the front porch. I got pictures of the baby right after he hatched.

I cut a small hole in my porch screen so I could stick my camera lens through it and get some decent photos. Lot of fucking good it did. Turns out it doesn’t matter. I went out there to check on him yesterday and he was gone

I ended up picking up my nephews at the bus stop on their last day of school Friday. Poor Ben, he was sobbing like his little heart was breaking. I asked him what was wrong and he said, through sobs, “I’m going to miss my teacher and my friends and I don’t want school to end!” We made it a little better with lemonade on the way home, though. I’m still shocked at how small he is. When I see him from a distance I always wonder, “Who is that 5 year old with no supervision??” It takes me a few seconds to realize it’s my 7 year old nephew. How sad.

In my studio class we’re doing digital ink and paint.  It’s a lot of fun, I’m using the hell out of my graphics tablet (about time) and having fun.  It’s probably fun because I have good equipment on a good computer and I’ve been fucking around with digital art for over a decade now so I already know a ton of tricks.  We’re developing a character.  I kind of like my little guy.  We’ve only just started adding color, so that part looks like shit.

In other news, we may be moving to Virginia. Jat is interviewing for a cushy fucking job up there in a couple of weeks. We’d have to buy a house, who the fuck would rent to us with all these animals other than my own mom? No one! We’d have to MOVE ALL OUR SHIT! That is an overwhelming proposition to consider. I’d be moving all 12 animals up there myself. That is also a daunting thought. I’m a ‘go with the flow see where life leads you’ kind of person, so I’m open to the possibility, but I don’t want to go. Everything I know is here. I’ve lived here practically my entire life, all my friends are here. Friends I’ve had since high school for fuck’s sake! My knitting/spinning groups are here, I have a happy knitting home not 5 minutes from my house. I’d have to start over with everything. I’d have to find a new internist who understands PCOS. A new stylist! Ack! Oh fuck, I’m going to have to ask my colorist to come with me though. It took me a while to find her and I don’t want to lose her. Shit, the same could be said for my stylist. Goddamnit.

But, stepping out of one’s comfort zone is how one grows as a person, or some shit. I know it’s good for me to expand my horizons, but that doesn’t mean I have to sing and dance through the process.

Culling those parts of our lives that cause stress is a freeing and strangely painful process.  I liken to when my Dad died.  I cried, but not because he was dead, I was actually glad and felt as if I’d been released from some invisible prison.  No, I cried because that dream had never died until he did.  The dream of having the Dad who scrutinized my boyfriends, protected me, took care of me.  That dream died when he did and THAT hurt like a motherfucker.

It’s a similar feeling when you give up on someone.  But like the man said, you gotta know when to fold.

I got my wheel, so I’ve been doing that and taking breaks for things like peeing, eating and homework.  The housework, well, we all know I’m not much of a housekeeper as it is.  Dishes are getting done.  Mostly.  Dinners are spotty, we’ve been doing a lot of takeout.

I’ve got a ton of handspun to show off, but I only have pics of my most recent.  This is a wool/mohair lock blend that I carded and spun as one continuous single.  I managed 6 oz of singles and then Navajo plied the whole lot into about 400 yds give or take.

My husband is an amazing man.  He bought me a Dell Vostro, a 17″ with 4g of RAM and a dual core 2.0ghz processor.  Have I mentioned how much he fucking rocks?  Have I?  Because he so does.  It should be delivered either today or Monday.  Probably Monday, but I’m hoping for today.

I had my middle nephew over on Wednesday.  He’s 7 and all about learning to knit.  He was fascinated by the spinning wheel and I asked him if he wanted to try it and he did, of course.  So I let him treadle while I drafted.  He was too cute, “I’m doing it!  I’m really doing it!  I’m making yarn!”  After he used up the fiber I had in my hand we took his yarn off the bobbin and I wet it and gave it to him and told him to go whack it around on walls and whatever.  He went outside and whacked it on the side of a tree and against the house and loved every second of it.  He couldn’t believe we were smacking around something we’d just made.  Too cute.  They’re all cute and fun, but god, I am always so glad when it’s time to take them home.

I have lots of spinning projects in the works.  I have a shitton of fiber, pounds and pounds of it.  I have purchased very little of it, however.  It was mostly gifted/bonuses.  So I’ve been blending and dying and trying all sorts of experiments and having a great time doing it too.

My dyed batts.  Let me show you them.

That is a blend of BFL and tussah, about a 60/40 blend.  Dyed with Wilton’s.  I have some acid dyes now, the primaries and black.  I’ll be playing with those later.

And yes, that is a shredded batt, or rather a combination of shredded batts.  When I dyed them I did something incredibly retarded that ended up felting them in several spots.  I actually lost very little of the batts themselves, but I did have to tear them into pieces in order to recard them.

Sorry, but everything’s probably going to be about spinning for a while yet.  Jat says I’m just working my way further and further back in the process so I don’t actually have to knit him the socks I keep promising him.  I’m pretty sure he’s wrong.  He’ll get socks.  Eventually.